Presence
You Don’t Build Relationships at Scale
Presence (noun): The act of showing up fully in a conversation. Listening, asking, responding, and staying engaged long enough for something to develop.
The real value in a room is not the panel. It is what happens around it. It lives in the side conversation that runs longer than expected, the introduction that turns into something more, and the moment you remember years later without trying. That is where relationships are built.
I saw that most recently at the Summer Discovery Beyond Now Summit in New York. The room had energy from the start. It wasn’t forced or polite. It moved, it buzzed, and people were engaged with each other rather than waiting their turn to speak.
(I work with Summer Discovery.)
The format made a difference. Conversations replaced lectures, and small groups, open Q&A, and time to connect created space for real interaction. It gave people a reason to step in, rather than sit back.
The students met that moment. They introduced themselves easily and asked direct questions about failure, money, pressure, and what it takes to get started. There was no hesitation or overthinking. They were there to engage.
I spoke with a few groups throughout the day. At 16, many were already clear about what interested them, from engineering and architecture to entertainment in Los Angeles and political science. Several had specific universities in mind and could explain why.
Two freshmen from Toronto, Ilia and Blake, introduced themselves the same way. Both were interested in business, with one planning to pursue law. They were already enrolled in a Brown pre-college program and taking a finance course this summer. When I asked why they came, one answered simply that he wanted to meet people.
That answer explains more than it seems.
They approached the day by stepping into conversations and staying in them. They asked, listened, and followed up. They were not focused on getting it exactly right. They were focused on being part of the exchange.
We tend to treat networking as something efficient, a quick exchange that can be counted or tracked. In practice, it rarely works that way. Relationships are built in rooms through shared time, real conversation, and the decision to stay engaged a little longer than expected.
I have seen that throughout my career.
The same dynamic played out at the American Magazine Conference. Each year, the industry stepped away for a few days, sharing meals, panels, and long conversations that extended well beyond the formal agenda. People from different companies sat together, talked, debated, and stayed engaged. Many of those relationships became lasting friendships that have lasted for years.
That does not happen by staying comfortable or keeping to the same circle. It requires sitting at a different table, starting a conversation, and allowing it to develop.
I have asked my own teams to approach conferences with that in mind. Do not come back with a stack of business cards. Come back with a few people worth knowing, then follow up and build the relationship over time.
Most people stop at the introduction because it feels like progress. In reality, it is the easiest part. What matters is what comes after.
The students in New York showed initiative, asked thoughtful questions, and stayed engaged without hesitation. There is something to learn from that.
The Beyond Now Summit creates the conditions. What people choose to do in those moments is what builds everything that follows.
✨Robin
